Monday, June 28, 2010

THE DARK KNIGHT'S GOLF CART  














Look, no matter how much evil Batman squashes with his Death-Monk training, at the core of it he’s still a rich white guy. As such, he is innately drawn to hit the links on weekends.
The armored golf tumbler is great in the rough, marauding through sand traps and protecting its driver from stray golf balls. It can even help you play an entire round in under 30 minutes. The only thing it can’t do is improve your short game–that’s where you have to “become an idea” and relentlessly attack chipping and putting like they killed your parents in an alley.













By CHRIS HARDWICK @ nerdist.com

Friday, May 21, 2010

OOPS! 94-Year Old Man Reads His Own Obituary

 

WWII veteran Paul Schlegelmilch 94, of Rockville Centre, was pretty shocked to see his own obituary in the Rockville Herald.

The Long Island NY newspaper was supposed to feature a story about Mr. Schlegelmilch's appointment as Grand Marshal for the coming Memorial Day Parade, but instead mistakenly printed his death. Oops.

Mr. Schlegelmilch laughed when asked about his feeling toward his "deceased" status, saying "pretty good." "Not many people get to read their own obituary, right?"

The paper acknowledged the mistake and issued a correction. I'm going to get my copy right now. I'm not feeling very well today. Maybe I'm dead. You never know.

Friday, May 14, 2010


Family, Friends Pay Final Respects to Lena Horne at Manhattan Funeral

Lena HorneNEW YORK (AP/ 1010 WINS)  -- Thousands of mourners were bidding a final farewell to jazz singer and actress Lena Horne in New York City on Friday.

She was remembered at her funeral as a shy girl from Brooklyn who broke through decades of racism to emerge as a world-class entertainer and social leader. Horne died Sunday at age 92.

Mourners at St. Ignatius Loyola in Manhattan included her granddaughter, actress Jenny Lumet, former Mayor David Dinkins and singer Chita Rivera.

Horne "was so many ideas existing all at the same time in the same space and they were all conflicting and they were all true,'' Lumet said. "I've tried to sum her up and I can't sum her up; summing up really means it's over and I think that she's not over and that she's quite infinite.''

Broadway star Audra McDonald stood over the casket and sang "Amazing Grace.''

Horne's seductive voice dazzled the world for decades with tunes like "My Blue Heaven'' and "Stormy Weather.''

In the 1940s, she was one of the first black performers hired to sing with a major white band, the first to play the Copacabana nightclub and among a handful with a Hollywood contract.


In 1943, MGM Studios loaned her to 20th Century-Fox to play the role of Selina Rogers in the all-black movie musical "Stormy Weather." Her rendition of the title song became a major hit and her signature piece.
On screen, on records and in nightclubs and concert halls, Horne was at home vocally with a wide musical range, from blues and jazz to the sophistication of Rodgers and Hart in songs like "The Lady Is a Tramp" and "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered."
In her first big Broadway success, as the star of "Jamaica" in 1957, reviewer Richard Watts Jr. called her "one of the incomparable performers of our time." Songwriter Buddy de Sylva dubbed her "the best female singer of songs."
But Horne was perpetually frustrated with the public humiliation of racism.
"I was always battling the system to try to get to be with my people. Finally, I wouldn't work for places that kept us out ... it was a damn fight everywhere I was, every place I worked, in New York, in Hollywood, all over the world," she said in Brian Lanker's book "I Dream a World: Portraits of Black Women Who Changed America."
While at MGM, she starred in the all-black "Cabin in the Sky," in 1943, but in most of her other movies, she appeared only in musical numbers that could be cut in the racially insensitive South without affecting the story. These included "I Dood It," a Red Skelton comedy, "Thousands Cheer" and "Swing Fever," all in 1943; "Broadway Rhythm" in 1944; and "Ziegfeld Follies" in 1946.
"Metro's cowardice deprived the musical of one of the great singing actresses," film historian John Kobal wrote.
Early in her career Horne cultivated an aloof style out of self-preservation, becoming "a woman the audience can't reach and therefore can't hurt" she once said.
Later she embraced activism, breaking loose as a voice for civil rights and as an artist. In the last decades of her life, she rode a new wave of popularity as a revered icon of American popular music.
Her 1981 one-woman Broadway show, "Lena Horne: The Lady and Her Music," won a special Tony Award. In it, the 64-year-old singer used two renditions - one straight and the other gut-wrenching - of "Stormy Weather" to give audiences a glimpse of the spiritual odyssey of her five-decade career.
A sometimes savage critic, John Simon, wrote that she was "ageless. ... tempered like steel, baked like clay, annealed like glass; life has chiseled, burnished, refined her."
When Halle Berry became the first black woman to win the best actress Oscar in 2002, she sobbed: "This moment is for Dorothy Dandridge, Lena Horne, Diahann Carroll. ... It's for every nameless, faceless woman of color who now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened."
Lena Mary Calhoun Horne, the great-granddaughter of a freed slave, was born in Brooklyn June 30, 1917, to a leading family in the black bourgeoisie. Her daughter, Gail Lumet Buckley, wrote in her 1986 book "The Hornes: An American Family" that among their relatives was a college girlfriend of W.E.B. Du Bois and a black adviser to Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Dropping out of school at 16 to support her ailing mother, Horne joined the chorus line at the Cotton Club, the fabled Harlem night spot where the entertainers were black and the clientele white.
She left the club in 1935 to tour with Noble Sissle's orchestra, billed as Helena Horne, the name she continued using when she joined Charlie Barnet's white orchestra in 1940.
A movie offer from MGM came when she headlined a show at the Little Troc nightclub with the Katherine Dunham dancers in 1942.
Her success led some blacks to accuse Horne of trying to "pass" in a white world with her light complexion. Max Factor even developed an "Egyptian" makeup shade especially for the budding actress while she was at MGM.
But in his book "Gotta Sing Gotta Dance: A Pictorial History of Film Musicals," Kobal wrote that she refused to go along with the studio's efforts to portray her as an exotic Latin American.
"I don't have to be an imitation of a white woman that Hollywood sort of hoped I'd become," Horne once said. "I'm me, and I'm like nobody else."
Horne was only 2 when her grandmother, a prominent member of the Urban League and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, enrolled her in the NAACP. But she avoided activism until 1945 when she was entertaining at an Army base and saw German prisoners of war sitting up front while black American soldiers were consigned to the rear.
That pivotal moment channeled her anger into something useful.
She got involved in various social and political organizations and - along with her friendship with Paul Robeson - got her name onto blacklists during the red-hunting McCarthy era.
By the 1960s, Horne was one of the most visible celebrities in the civil rights movement, once throwing a lamp at a customer who made a racial slur in a Beverly Hills restaurant and in 1963 joining 250,000 others in the March on Washington when Martin Luther King Jr. gave his "I Have a Dream" speech. Horne also spoke at a rally that same year with another civil rights leader, Medgar Evers, just days before his assassination.
It was also in the mid-'60s that she put out an autobiography, "Lena," with author Richard Schickel.
The next decade brought her first to a low point, then to a fresh burst of artistry.
She had married MGM music director Lennie Hayton, a white man, in Paris in 1947 after her first overseas engagements in France and England. An earlier marriage to Louis J. Jones had ended in divorce in 1944 after producing daughter Gail and a son, Teddy.
In the 2009 biography "Stormy Weather," author James Gavin recounts that when Horne was asked by a lover why she'd married a white man, she replied: "To get even with him."
Her father, her son and her husband, Hayton, all died in 1970-71, and the grief-stricken singer secluded herself, refusing to perform or even see anyone but her closest friends. One of them, comedian Alan King, took months persuading her to return to the stage, with results that surprised her.
"I looked out and saw a family of brothers and sisters," she said. "It was a long time, but when it came I truly began to live."
And she discovered that time had mellowed her bitterness.
"I wouldn't trade my life for anything," she said, "because being black made me understand."

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

WHY I MOVED TO NEW ORLEANS
by James Avatar

Those who know about are well aware of the fact that I'm a native New Yorker. Born in Harlem during the Motown explosion, raised in the Bronx during the early days of the Hip Hop and returning to Harlem during my middle aged years after bouncing around from borough to borough.

Some of my friends have offered my tour guide assistance to visitors, assuring them that they are destined to receive the "off-the-beaten-path" tour under my watch.

"This guy knows New York like nobody. He's the one you want."


And, yes, I was more than happy to acquaint cheerful tourists with the current goings on of this great metropolis, taking them to glorious dive bars, hidden ethnic restaurants, underground parties and events...even found them affordable places to shop.

At the end of the day, (A term greatly overused, excuse me) I felt positive with a lift in my spirits from the glowing faces of the new friends I had just made. They seemed genuinely entertained and impressed at New York's vast array of activity. They seemed to view me as an elder statesman and an embassador of fun and good times.

I felt like I had established myself as a true New York historian with the ability to articulate the wonder of this great city though the hundreds of true stories I had acquired throughout my personal journey.

And then my heart turned over.

I hate to blame it all on one event or person, but the city changed a great deal after the policies enforced by then Police Commish Howard Safir and Mayor Rudolf Guilianni.

Changes like the "Unnecessary noise prohibited" law that restricts you from banging a drum, singing loud or walking around with a boombox on your shoulder. Yeah. I'm spoiled. I used to play conga in the park on warm summer nights. I sang a mean barritone during street corner doo-wop sessions. I held down a dope beatbox, spit mad verse in vintage Bronx cyphers and blasted my mix tapes at block parties. All of a sudden the sonic textures of the city had been silenced like someone pulled the plug on one of the world's greatest soundtracks.

Talented singer/songwriters went into hiding, feared of being arrested or fined for playing in public without papers and having their equipment locked up. Even mimes disappeared. Not because they were loud, but because frustrated singer/songwriters kept beating them up.

The drug scene changed. No longer could one fine an small & inexpensive amount of "herbal incense" to aid in the tension of city stress. New drugs (based on drugs previously administered during childhood) flooded the market, causing the price of "herbal incense" to skyrocket. These new drugs caused bad press for dance clubs causing them to shut down. No more huge parties below the radar. No more street corner symphonies. No more toke-toke-pass-let's-sing-Bob-Marley-till dawn nights of bonding with cool Euro's or elder hippies.

The city's landscape changed. Escalating rent shut down most mom-n-pop stores. Clubs were replaced by bars with Jukeboxes blaring music you heard on the radio or on your iPod on your way to the bar. Seeing a live band included a cover charge, hefty for those on hard times. At one point, it seemed like the only way you could hear FREE LIVE MUSIC in Manhattan was to hum a tune in the friggin' bathroom at the McDonald's on 42nd St..

 You see where I'm going with this?

New Orleans is a vibrant, lively city where amazing  brasswork and expert drumsmanship inhale the sweet, warm air and scream an exquisite duet of joy and passion. It is the watering hole for hundreds of muses, drunken with happiness, seducing you with excess in the spirit of abandon. It is where life is celebrated and the human condition is still human.

Yes, there are problems. But even though I am not well traveled, I think it's safe to say that there are  problems in every city. N'awlins strikes a chord in me and it is sweet music to my soul. To be living in a place where live music is so commonplace is truly a blessing. And the fact that  it's SOUL music is a plus. Signs that say "NO COVER" are all over the place. Free is good.

Performers are everywhere while visitors walk around smiling, carrying plastic cups of booze. And a marijuana alternative called "Herbal Incense" and is sold over the counter.

Beautiful women of all shapes and sizes stroll by, comfortably wearing their clothing. The scantly clad ladies standing outside the "Red light" shops on Bourbon St. remind me of a pre-Disney 42nd St. near 8th Ave. They stand in all their glory as street goddesses and sexy barkers, catcalling any handsome beefcake that strolls by. In the distance, a trumpet pierces the night air followed by the klip-klop-klip-klop of a horse-drawn carriage nearby.

These are the sights and sounds of my dreams, a welcome home-cooked meal for a hungry soul weaned on the breast of "record store" DJ's, 3-part hallway harmony, free night shows in Washington Square Park and the squeak of the conga skin in Central Park.

I no longer love New York.  I MISS new York. And I am truly grateful to be in a place now where I am able to fashion new memories from live musical performances, diverse celebration, southern decadence and herbal incense.

J/A

Friday, April 02, 2010

Kumar Ditches Obama Job; plans to re-unite with Harold for next "H&K" movie

The White House wouldn't confirm a report Friday that actor Kal 
Penn is leaving the Obama administration.
The White House wouldn't confirm a report Friday that actor Kal Penn is leaving the Obama administration.
 
Washington (CNN) – The White House isn't confirming a report that actor Kal Penn is leaving the Obama administration.

Entertainment Weekly reported Friday that Penn, best known for his roles in the "Harold and Kumar" films and on the popular medical drama "House, M.D." is leaving the White House.

Penn, whose real name is Kalpen Modi, has spent much of the past year working in the White House Office of Public Liaison, which is run by Obama senior adviser Valerie Jarrett.

EW.com reported that the actor is returning to Hollywood to resume his acting career, starting with a Christmas-themed installation of the "Harold and Kumar" series.
Despite the report, the White House press office isn't saying much about Penn's plans.

STREET ART NYC / 2021- 2022